I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
