Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
