What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
