I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
