i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
