no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
