is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
