uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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