There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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