I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
