Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
