he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
