nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
