Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
