I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
