so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
