doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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