Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize