I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
