Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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