Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
