oh god the rape fog is back!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
