Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
