dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize