Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
