Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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