The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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