Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
