Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
