If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
