Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
