What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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