At least make sure they are 18
Why
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
