no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
