Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
