How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
