I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
