Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
