U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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