the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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