I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
