She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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