I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
