You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
