My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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