Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize