fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
