I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
whose ass print is on the piano?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
