I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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