It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
